Them, us and the exam hall!

After writing so many exams, I have gained enough knowledge to present my thesis about the Lords of the exam hall- THE INVIGILATORS! Well yes, you may be the President of India, but on the day you give your exam, you are completely at the mercy of these people. It’s an easy job you say? Well, how would you like to spend some 3 hours in a room full of random people, doing nothing but stare into white papers, dirty walls, an old Timex watch and a cow gazing outside the window? Oh wait! Something inside just screamed “Is that not what YOU do in exam hall too?”. Ah! Well of course! Apart from all that, I also observe the invigilators. They are completely under rated comedians of our society! Yes, I understand most of you would not agree with me using the word ‘comedians’, more so because they generally don’t let you write those 2-3 words after the final bell rings! And that is NOT funny. Invigilators are very interesting people to observe. Sometimes, 3 hours feel way too less for observing them (of course it’s a different issue when you know nothing in the paper).Here are the different types of invigilators that I have observed in my long experience of sitting idle in exam halls.

1)  The I-am-so-smart one: This kind of invigilator thinks he is extremely smart for the humble human kind. Generally, his moves are something like this:

Step 1- Slowly walks to the entrance of the class room and stands at the door for a while. Pretends like he does not really care about us copying.

Step 2- A few minutes later, he walks out of the class room casually. This is when we get all excited and start peeping into our neighbour’s papers. Boom! Our Mr Smarty Pants is peeping from the window!

Step3- Catches you and gives you ‘was I too smart for your liking’ look.

2) The Detonator: He is invariably the most annoying of the lot. He bosses around trying to create ‘fear’. He obviously believes that the exam hall is his territory and people taking the exam are at his mercy. There was one time when an invigilator actually said "there are two ways in which you can leave the hall in less than 3 hours...1. You finish your paper early 2. You copy and I'll throw you out". Really? Wow! Also, he reads out every instruction which is already given in the paper and announces the time left every half an hour! All you can say is ‘die!’

3) The bored soul:  This kind of invigilator bothers you the least. He comes, gives the question papers and sits in some corner. If the invigilator is below the age of 30, he is generally seen meddling with the cell phone and if he is above 30, you generally see him signing additional sheets. After he is done doing that, he orders a chai , and has a chat with the other invigilators who also mostly fall under same category. Every now and then he peeps into the class and makes sure everything is fine. I always wonder, we are the ones writing exam, we do all the hard work and he gets to have chai! Talk about equality I say!

4) The Over friendly one: This one is generally a newbie in school/college and wants to impress the students. So, when he catches you copying, he not only does not say anything but also smiles at you (sometimes winks). He even helps you in the exam with answers. It is sometimes awkward when you know the answer he told you is wrong and you can’t do anything about it but write it down (true story!). He generally goes to the smarty of the class, looks into his paper and gives away the answers to his ‘favourite’ lot, earning the wrath of the smarty. (Again, true story) (No, I am not the smarty I am talking about!). After he is done with the ‘social service’ he goes around the class, makes himself comfortable on the bench where there is only one kid sitting and strikes a conversation.  Poor kid!

5) The Peeper :   He comes, stands next to you and peeps into your paper. He reads your answer and gives you the ‘look’. The moment he stands next to you, you stop writing and find it extremely difficult to even remember your own name!  Still, our Peeper will never take a hint!  He is mostly the one who teaches you that particular subject. It is unofficially ‘the end’ of your paper then.

6) The Love Birds:  All of us surly must have heard of all those love stories that happen in school and college. If they are invigilating in the same floor, then its a win-win for everyone! :P . Don’t we just love them!

7)Tie your papers amma :  For them, it doesn’t matter if you have finished your paper or not or if it is your life or death case , all they care is if you have ‘tied your papers’ or not!  We might be writing that one answer that could help us clear our exam! But heck! Why would they care? They obviously believe tying the papers is the only thing that can save our lives! And we are left with nothing but thinking Last 15 minutes ki kimat tum kya jaano invigilator babu!

So, have I missed any kind here? Personally, ‘the bored soul’ is my favourite! Tell me yours! J